I was less than halfway through a night of gay speed dating for “bottoms” and “tops” and had already been asked three times if I was in the right group. There were, as usual, too many bottoms! If I wanted to sail with the boys on this gay Noah’s ark, I had to maybe fib to myself a little. The event, which was held in the confines of a cavernous bar downtown, had a surprisingly large turnout. I happened to be one of the first guys to register with the organizer, and I took the opportunity to grab a beer and watch the men herd into line to register like cattle to the slaughter. There was a drizzle of uneasy laughter from the men in line. Get a couple of drinks in you and what are you?
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Some of this advice can be quite helpful, but much of it is mistaken and based on personal experiences and opinions, rather than actual research about relationships. Below, I take on five common pieces of dating advice that are misguided or flat-out wrong. When you meet the right person, you’ll know right away. One comforting piece of advice is that when the right person comes along, you’ll just magically know. Maybe you’ll even experience love at first sight.
In a series of studies, Paul Eastwick and colleagues tracked people’s memories of various relationship experiences across the entire course of their relationships, both short-term and long-term. It was only later on that the researchers saw differences between relationships that lasted and relationships that eventually fizzled. But what about love at first sight? Research shows that many people believe they have experienced it.
And many people who report “love at first sight” with their current partner are just projecting their current feelings onto their initial encounters with that person.
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He heard about the event from a friend, and I decided to go because a group of my sorority sisters were attending. Neither one of us expected anything from the event, but went with open minds. We went on our first official date a couple weeks later at Gazuza Lounge and needless to say, we hit it off because 2 years and 2 days later, we were married at the Ronald Reagan Building in Washington, DC!
Thank you for hosting the event that put us together. I’m happy to inform that in-spite of my reservations I attended your event with an open mind and I was incredibly surprised! That night I met my now husband. We hit it off from the start and were engaged 9 months later. We now have a beautiful daughter named Karlee Mia, who would have never come to be had I not attended that evening our first and only speed dating experience. It’s been several weeks since I’ve returned from Cuba and am still constantly distracted with thoughts and memories of an amazing experience!
It was unforgettable and that is the general consensus of those in the group. The trip was very well organized and executed. The tour guide, Pedro Cesar, was amazing and made our time there perfect. The country and city of Havana is like nothing else, despite the political and economic situation.
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Which would you rank as most important in a romantic partner? Which is least important to you? Research consistently shows that we rank most or all of these traits as more important than good looks Apostolou, ; Apostolou, ; Buss et al. However, consciously ranking traits as more or less important may not reflect the way we make our real-life dating and mating decisions.
Louise told me that looks were not that important to her, but that a good sense of humor was a must. Physical Attractiveness is More Important Than We Think Physical attractiveness may serve as a gatekeeper directing us toward partners who are healthy, age appropriate, and able to reproduce Weeden and Sabini, And when we make real-life dating and mating decisions, research indicates, physical appearance dominates: We choose to pursue relationships with those who are attractive to us see Luo and Zhang, ; Kurzban and Weeden, ; Thao et al.
Further, attractiveness tends to be a more important factor in our dating decisions than traits like personality , education , and intelligence Eastwick et al.